Are We Thoughtful or Thoughtless?

When we try to take control of our own lives and the lives of those around us.. we slowly set ourselves up to lose control of everything we have worked so hard to attain. It is only after we lose control of ourselves, our relationships, and what we have worked so hard to accomplish and create that we realize how important it is to give it all up to God...Place it in God's Hands... For His Will be done. 

Even the things we love and desire the most, the relationships we long for... our not ours to control. I really feel like God uses moments like these to help remind us of who we really need to trust things over too. To hand over the pen of our wants, desires, riches, and needs back to Him. For who better to ultimately love us more than any person on Earth or material possessions we could own... than Christ himself. 



When we begin a new relationship with a friend or significant other we get caught up in wanting to be thoughtful and attentive to their needs. We place our own needs aside naturally to listen to what they have to say and to communicate clearly. It all comes naturally. However, over time life catches up to us and we are quick to reign in our wants and desires. In addition we also begin to fall victim to thoughtlessness. Instead of thinking what we can do to better our relationships and to continue the open lines of communication we begin to all our selfishness to take place. 

I am so guilty of this. As a woman I expect to have others, be able to read my mind, pick up on the clues, and know what precise thoughts are going through my brain at that very moment. These actions lure me into the silent enemy of thoughtlessness within my relationships. I have a strong desire to want to control everything and the exact moment things happen. No I don't want to be god... but I want to have the "Who, what's, where's, when's, and how's" all planned out- in every scenario, so that when it does happen I'll be ready. And yet, every now and then life throws us a curve ball. I don't know if it's God's decision or our decision to act on our free will... but sometimes things happen (by our own doing or others) that we can't control. Any in the process of trying to control what is falling down around us on all sides we lose sight of what ultimately matters. Handing it all over to God for his timing and His doing. After all who better to have things planned out for us than Him. Who better to be more thoughtful in meeting our own desires than our own loving God. But when we step up to the plate to take care of our own needs, God sometimes has to step back- while we sort it out. Thus in turn slowing down or halting His own thoughtful plans for us. 

"Love requires thoughtfulness on both sides and teaches you to meet in the middle; together both parties need to respect and appreciate how each other uniquely thinks and feels". 

-- Fireproof

Which is why it is in those moments of reckless driving we need to pull over and stop and meet Christ in the middle. We don't have to live life and make life's major plans and decisions all alone. Christ is there with us, by our side every step of the way. He loved us so much He died for us. 

"God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." 

-- John 3:16 NIV

Which Side Has Greener Grass???

I haven’t written a post in a very, very, very long time. However, there comes a time when all good things must end… well at least the silence that is.

Lately, I have become more aware on how caught up (as a society, family, and individual) in earthly things we have become- myself included. How we are more worried in our day to day activities, from the workloads at school/work, to what’s for dinner- leftovers of course, to what didn’t get done that still needs to get done. Even through all these other “things” that preoccupy our mind God is still with us, still by our side just waiting for us to call on him. At the same time, we still put it upon ourselves that we must solve all of these problems and the rest of the world’s problems on our own accord- without any help. Yet, God sits, waiting, quietly and patiently for us to leave these cares and worries behind and make the choice to call out to Him and to include him in these daily activities while also setting time aside for Him (maybe before these other occupations are all said and done). As a mother, I put my children first 24/7. The children get fed, clothed, bathed, and read a story too for bed, often before we can change clothes or grab a bite to eat for ourselves. Our children’s needs are essential and our important, but so are we, and while there may seem like a sense of guilt or fear that by spending five minutes to change out of work clothes we are “neglecting” our duties to our children, we still need to take the time for ourselves without those thoughts our fears.

In life we all have choices- choices we make on our own and choices that we are forced to make because of other circumstances around us. Either way these choices impact us greatly- from who we are today and who we will be. Almost two years ago I made the choice to let God write my love story. To hand over the pen to Him and trust that in his timing and His way He would help prepare me for the man He wanted me to meet- even if that day never came. See before that date and time I also had to make several other choices which included leaving an unhealthy marriage, starting life over again, and if I wanted to “punish God” for Him putting me into those circumstances when I thought my previous marriage was where I was supposed to be (a choice I had also made three years prior to it ending). While “punishing God” was never the option it was a thought that crossed my mind, but what purpose would it serve? Running away from Him wouldn’t solve and erase the issues before me, nor would they have presented the answers I was so desperately searching for.

There were many dark times in between the choice of leaving my marriage and the choice of Handing the Pen over to God. I struggled for years on even finding an equal balance and “justifying” my decisions. Some days it seemed like God didn’t even care, that He wasn’t listening, and that I never was going to find an end to the pain, heartbreak, and sadness I faced day in and day out. While other days, it felt I was as close to Him as my children sitting next to me while reading a bedtime story. And yet, just like the choices we make God also made choices for Himself and for us. He choose to die on the cross, to sacrifice His own life to save us from our sins…. Not His… OURS! He choose the time and date He wanted to place us on this Earth so that we would be worthy of fulfilling His plans in our lives: 

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart, I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” – Jeremiah 1:5.

No one said walking with Christ was going to be easy. He did not deny the struggles, sufferings, and persecution we would face. Even today in the 21^st Century living a life in Christ’s eye is not easy. There are so many distractions and misconceptions media interprets what “life should” be today, and what “life should be” in God’s eyes. While there are many godly men and women around us, living up to God’s Will is not just a Sunday thing, but something that we must do every day of the week. Even when we are pressured to accomplish the day-to-day activities around us, who will win out Society or God? How we choose to live our life during those moments, how we reveal ourselves to strangers, our friends, and our families are all choices we make. So do you say you’ll live God’s way on Sunday and societies way Monday through Saturday or do we always strive to make the choice to put God first… even if that means going against society, our family, our friends???? Before you act, before you make that choice. Pray to God for guidance and clarity on if you're following His Will or your own will. 

“When you compare what you have too what someone else has than you will never, ever be happy! Be grateful for the blessings and gifts that come your way and spread your happiness and joy to those around you. Just remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side.”

-- Anonymous

I Keep on Waiting...

--- I originally began writing this post in January... I guess time got away from me. Better late than never though. ---

"Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we're waiting for."

Often times I find myself around the beginning of the new year reflecting on all the things I accomplished, didn't accomplish, and had hoped would have happened by now. However, at the same time... no matter how often I try to "plan" things out. God always seems to have other plans. Before Christmas I made a promise to myself that I would not focus on anything but furthering my relationship with Christ. Having been busy and hectic for the last couple of months, it can become very difficult to stay focused on the long term goals and desires we have set for ourselves. Not to mention, the desire to find that special someone had taken hold of my heart even more than before. Maybe it was the Christmas season or maybe God was beginning to open my heart for good things yet to come in this New Year. 

The past three weeks I have been provided the opportunity to grow deeper in my faith and commitment with God. Through a good friend, I have been able to rekindle my relationship with God (despite the hectic activities of day to day life). Last night I was reminded about why I choose to write about this journey, this season in my life. When the time comes for me to meet that special person, I want to be able to share with Him all the thoughts and feelings I experienced along the way. In addition, I pray and hope that through my journey and commitment to Hand Over the Pen to Christ  that it would allow the two of us to know fully how loved Our Creator is and how our lives were knit together even before we first met. After all, what girl doesn't want a fairy tale love story to one day share with her friends, family, and daughters. 

Thus, bringing me to another point. I know different people have their own opinions on this issue of dating, but to me, I want to step beyond the realm of dating and into the realm of courting. Basically courting is the idea of entering into a relationship with the idea that, through God's Will, marriage will be the ultimate goal. That does not mean that one has to commit themselves to marriage right away, but I do feel that it is important to be open to the idea of marriage from the beginning (others may not, this is just my opinion). There are many different views of courtship, but one has to find the right one for them and their significant other. It must be a conversation between the two persons, and not forced on one person by another. And while this isn't always the ideal thing for everyone, I feel this is where I am meant to be. I have had my ups and downs and struggles in life. We all have, but at the same time it is through those adventures that make us who we are today. And brings us to where we are in life now. I don't want to date someone because it's what people "my age" should be doing. I want to find someone who shares in the same values and beliefs about life and Christ as I do. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord" --- Proverbs 18:22

I think this quote says it all " I believe that the most important single thing that you will ever do in this world is to marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority." When we seek the Lord and observe His plans unfolding in our lives, we are filled with Joy. For when we take the time to know the Lord and to find blessings through him than we can easily accept the Will He has for us. But when we try to do things on our own and to make our own decisions, we often become easily lost, frustrated, and confused- often filled with unknown feelings and concern about which direction to turn. 

It is so easy to get lost in the day to day festivities and remember all the good things that are happening around us. And even when we think we are on the right path, the moment we fail to take His Will for us into account is the moment that even when we are doing His Will...we can't do it without Him. For we will also need to to be there to catch us when we jump that leap of Faith and when we fail. And we are human... we are going to fall. But what we do and what we learn from those memories and moments is the ultimate lesson in life. Nothing in life is easy. He died on the cross for our sins and to save us. Christ paid the ultimate price for us, and even to this day... He still has a plan for us and where He wants us to go... Today... Tomorrow... Ten Years from now....