The Waiting Game

Wow.... it's been awhile. I guess that's what happens when life takes a hold of you sometimes it becomes difficult to release the grasp, but eventually we either have to let go and hand it over to someone greater to find ourselves again. 

Easter has come and He is Risen from the Dead! What a great way to celebrate the Easter season than by being reminded that no matter what hardships and struggles or blessings come our way. Even after He died on the cross Christ was still in control of everything. Never once has He given up or wavered in His unfailing love for us...sinners.

With those thoughts in mind, last week I came across the following Bible verse in Exodus that really reminded me about the importance of living for what we not only believe in, but the values we want to uphold for ourselves, our family, and most importantly our relationship with God. 

"The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace"-- Exodus 14:14

How amazing is He... He loves me so much he fights for me!!! He fights for my children, my family, everything! All I have to do is be still and at peace--- hand over the pen and let Him be in control. Shouldn't I do the same for Him? How could I ever repay someone who has laid His own life down for me? I know I won't ever be able to come close to what He did for me, but even in the midst of waiting I can still do my best to live a life trusting in Him, loving Him, praying that I can live a life worthy of what He wants for me. 

How easy that is some days and how difficult it can be other days. Yet, I know He loves me and He will always give me what  need and the resources to handle what comes my way, but there are so many days I wish I didn't have to go at it alone and that I had someone to help ease the battles, tension, and stress or celebrate in the joys, holidays, birthdays, and every day blessings of life. For now I don't have that special someone- and maybe one day I will... but at the same time trusting in Him also means knowing it may never happen, and I'm okay with that because I know what He gives me is His will for me. At the same time I do my best to live out my life in a way that if God were to choose today to bless me with that "special someone" that I know I have made the conscious decision to be faithful, remain faithful, and live life worthy of honoring that person. After all, he is someone I pray for daily, pray to be a good husband, father, willing to be a partner in the day to day joys of life. Not someone who is seeking someone to fill a void, meet a spontaneous need to fill the time, or search around for the next best thing with the going gets tough. 

I know I am different and I know I have chosen a different route than others- I know this route is harder and can be much harder--- it's not for the faint of heart, it's not for everyone, but already through my own personal experience there are so many blessings I have been provided along the way. The best came on Easter when my oldest revealed to me a conversation she had recently had with some of her friends. She told me that her friends and her had been talking about boys and dating... and how even without boys and dating one can still be the happiest person in life- after all her mother (me) has taken the path she has been given, even after breaking up with someone and used it to draw closer to God and to find happiness in what she (I) has been given, instead of dwelling on what is lost. While that comes know where close to the heartfelt tears I felt Sunday morning-- hearing her realize how my decision has greatly impacted her and her own life helped reconfirm that this is the right path for me and them at this moment. 

No I am not perfect. Yes I have faulted along the way- each week, each day, each moment. But I have atoned for my sins, sought out forgiveness and continue to love as He loves me from the moment He died on the cross. And I hope that one day, if I am granted that one blessing--- that my husband will come to know how special and cherished he is to me even before we met. That I have chosen to live a life to make him proud and to realize how much of my heart already belongs to him-- until then God will continue to lead the way and show me the rightful path. For I live my life to serve Him first, my family, and my children... waiting is all just part of the course. Part of His plan for all of us.... isn't that what John Waller sings about in his song "While I'm Waiting"?

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord

Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait
Yes, I will wait