Fools Rush In

I will be the first to admit that there have been times in my life, even recently, where even though I have given everything up to Christ and laid it all for Him to take care of, I have been overcome with doubts and a strong desire to take the pen out of His hand and starting writing my own story. As tempting as these moments are, and how vulnerable we are as humans, I have learned that at times like this is when I need to trust and lean on Him more than ever... and to stop, clear my mind, and pray!!! 


This morning I was reading the Book of the Song of Solomon and came across the song of Love's Dream...

Upon my bed at night

I sought him who my soul loves; 

I sought him, but he gave no answer.

"I will rise now and go about the city, 

in the streets and in the squares;

I will seek him whom my soul loves."

I sought him, but found him not.

The sentinels found me,

as they went about in the city.

"Have you seen him whom my soul loves?"

Scarcely had I passed them,

when I found him whom my soul loves.

I held him, and wold not let him go

until I bought him into my mother's house,

and into the chamber of her that conceived me.

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, 

by the gazelles or the wild does:

do not stir up or awaken love

until it is ready!

--- Song of Solomon 3:1-5

It is only natural for us, as we end the day, and lay down at night to begin to fill our mind's thoughts with events and conversations from the day. I know there have been many times in my own life where I have found it hard to wind down and go to sleep for the night because I am replaying a conversation I had with another person-- wishing I had said this instead of that, etc. How easy it is for us, during that time, to become consumed by these thoughts, wondering if we said the right things, or made the right decisions. Thus, ultimately leading us to decide that whatever things we said or did that we did not like, or were not completely satisfied with the outcome that we would go about in the morning to correct it--- just like the person in Love's Dream attempted to do. 

There are times when we get so caught up in trying to catch the right one that we forget about all those around us, including our family and our relationship with Christ. We search high and low longing to find Him-- through the streets of the city and even within our own homes, never satisfied until we have him in our arms. Yet, at the same time Love's Dream can also signify how Christ is continually searching for us, waiting for us to come back to Him, to be wrapped up and held in His arms, as He brings us home to His church. 

If we were to continually go out, day after day, into the city searching for "the one" we would never be content and satisfied with ourselves and our lives as they already love. And then we do finally "catch" him, we become so focused on trying to keep him happy and please him, that we are willing to give up our own happiness just to have him in our life. Is this what it is supposed to be about? Is this how love is supposed to go? Are we supposed to do everything in our power to hold onto someone, to force them to love us just so we won't be alone? I'll be honest, I've been on this side before, and I've realized the hard way that we should never be content in one person and only that person. In order to be satisfied and happy we need to be content with ourselves by living a life in and with Christ. 

I especially loved the last verse in Love's Dream because it still remains true today, even though it was written thousands of years ago...

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,

by the gazelles or the wild does:

do not stir up or awaken love

until it is ready!

-- Song of Solomon 3:5

When I handed over the pen to Christ to write my story, I handed it over to Him to write about family, work, love, sadness, happiness, and much more. Choosing to give Christ the pen to my life did not mean that I could pick and choose what parts of my life to give Him... no I had to give Him everything. We cannot force or manipulate Christ into jumping ahead of His plan for us, whatever that may be. Just like we cannot force someone to fall in love with us (sorry this isn't Hollywood). When Christ is ready, if it is His plan, He awaken the desire to love on His timing. Until then, it really doesn't do me any good to go out there searching for Him. Which, is why it is important that we do not let our emotion get the best of Him. No matter where I am or what I am doing, when Christ is ready to awaken my Love Story He will send him to me if that is His desire. 

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord."

--Proverbs 18:22

But at the same time I have also come to understand that as quickly as Christ allows Him to enter into my life, He can also call him home to Heaven to be with Him. 

When we allow our emotions to overcome us, we take the pen out of His hand, but the reality is if we are to live our life in Christ then we need to fully trust Him in every area and in every thing. And if that "someone special" who we have our wondering eyes on is not the one--- than Christ has someone even better in store for us. Someone who will not cause us to compromise our faith, beliefs, time with our family, etc. Someone who is willing to build up a friendship that is steadfast in Christ's love for them individually and for those they care about. Until then, yes we must wait (but that does not mean sitting around the house all day until "the one" comes knocking at our door). No we need to understand that God is calling us to use this time, this season of singleness, to prepare ourselves for the future, to serve Him in ways we wouldn't be able to if we had a family to care for, and to live a life content and happy in Him. So maybe now is the time to answer that call to go back to school, to get involved in the church, to visit the sick, or serve as a missionary proclaiming the God's Word. Knowing that through it all, when the time is right and His Will desires it, He will bring that "someone special" into our lives no matter where we are. For now, we need to use our gifts to answer His calling for us in our lives and to learn to become fully content and happy in Him. Instead of acting like a fool rushing into love. 

You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord!

He is their help and their shield.

The Lord has been mindful of us; he will bless us

--Psalm 115:11-12

A Calling From God

 I Corinthians 12:7 (NLT), "A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other." 


I'm sure many of you have heard from a family member, pastor, or youth minister, at one time in your life or another, that all of us are called to serve Christ through the special gifts God has given to you to share with others. And I'm sure at that same time you were thinking quietly in your mind... ya I'm sure I do, I know He is calling me to make something of myself and live a life fully in Him, but I have no idea what that could be. I remember sitting there thinking, what in the world would I use with the gift I was given, where am I being called to go, and what exactly would I do when I got there with this gift from God. I mean I wasn't born with superpowers, I didn't really have any special musical talents, singing was out of the question (unless you wanted to see the widows in the sanctuary break), and well don't posses any other so called talents that would set me apart from anyone else without sticking out like a soar thumb. And well, God doesn't exactly pass out an instructional manual with each of us as we begin to discern our calling... or does He?  


Over the years, I have come to realize that our gift(s) from God do not have to be marked with a special pen or highlighted on the back of our clothes. If I had not been so engrossed in  trying to figure out what my talent was, I would have realized that God had already provided me with the gifts I needed to serve Him. Christ has already given me the materials and means to use my gifts for Him, I just had to put it all into practice. This made me realize that these gifts we are given are not always easily noticed among our brothers and sisters, but they do exist. For example, the gifts we are given could be something as opening up our home to a weekly prayer meeting, playing music, or maybe it is the gift of taking the lead and helping others to initiate the start of something new. God wants us to use our gifts to help one another and lead each other closer to a life with Christ. For, by praying to Him and reading His Word, we can all discern where Christ is calling on us to go and what He wants us to use our gifts for. We just have to take the time to stop getting caught up in the hectic events of life, pause, pray, reflect, and listen to Him and His calling for us. 


In other words, as David Haas writes in his song We Are Called, as Christians and members of the faith it is our duty to our brothers and sisters and to Him. For all of us, no matter what are gifts are are called to "act with justice, to love tenderly, to serve one another, and to walk humbly with God". As young woman in Christ we have all been called to live a life through Him. One of the precious gifts about woman, is their willingness and compassion to help others. When we open our heart up to Christ, and connect with Him, we are beginning a new adventure. God call us to draw closer to Him; therefore why should we embark on one of the most exciting experiences we will ever have. 


Answering God's call is not always easy, but if we are obedient to Him, even when it seems as all is lost, and we are the only one walking along the path, we must trust in Him. I'll be honest there are times when I wish I could just pick up the phone or open up an email and find directions for God's calling in my own life. He wants to take us on a wonderful, enlightening adventure if we let Him, an adventure that will help us gain a better understanding on the life's calling He has determined for us. Jeremiah 1:5 states, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you". So even if you have no idea what your calling is or how Christ wants you to use your gifts, He already knows. As our Creator, He knows each one of us (inside and out); and if we are really willing to take the time to listen (for more than a day), while reading the instructional manual (the Bible) He left us... We will come to know and discover our life's calling. 


Just imagine what would have happened if Samuel never answered God's calling or other biblical figures in the Bible. 

Calling people is a vital part of God’s work in the world. 

There are many different biblical examples of call which show many possibilities.   

• It may be a call to leadership, as in the case of Moses.  
• It may be a promise of protection regarding her descendants , as in the case of the slave 
• women Hagar.  
• It may be a prophesy of things to come, as in the case of the boy Samuel.   
• It may be a call to missionary proclamation, as it came to the unwilling prophet Jonah.   
• It may be an invitation to motherhood, as in the case of the young virgin Mary.   
• It may be a call to disciplemaking, as it came to Peter and Andrew, James and John from 
  Jesus.   
• It may be a call to conversion, as it came to Saul on the road to Damascus

Christ will always be there for us. However, we need to make sure that we are listening to Him and not our own earthly desires. My decision to put off this Ministry to meet my needs, only lead to God's calling growing stronger within me, almost to the point where it overtook any earthly desires I had for myself. I still have no idea where this Ministry will go, but I know that if I am obedient to His will, He will take use my gifts to inspire others. I think this is best said in Paul's letter to the Romans, "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). God has called all of us to do great things. Even if we cannot see it right away, our calling aligns with his purpose for Him and our desire to grow in his Love. Ladies, we are all predestined to accomplish great things during our lifetime.... So where is God's Calling leading you?    

We All Have Our Time

The other night while driving home from a friend's house, late at night, I heard the following song on the radio, that just made me stop and think. The song was Good to be Alive by Jason Gray. Basically the song is about how blessed we are to be given the gift of life and to be able to use the time that we have been giving to serve others in Christ and living our life through Him to the fullest. The other night was the first time I had heard this song played and it stuck with me, because in all sincerity and truthfulness as I have mentioned before, my life is not mine to live. 


Jason Gray points this out in his lyrics stating:
I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive, yeah

Hold on
If the life that we've been given
Is made beautiful in the living
And the joy that we get brings joy to the heart of the giver
Then right here, right now
This is the song I'm singing out


I'll be honest and the first to admit that I am not one who really likes to think about death and all the sadness that comes with it. Even though I live with hope that when I do die, I will leave behind a legacy that shows others how much I cared for and loved Christ. I can only imagine what the day will be like when I do see His face and walk by His side. As easily as God put us on this earth, He can easily take us off. (Even if my mother also claims to be able to do the same thing :) ha ha). But when you really stop and think about it, we do live on borrowed time. I heard  Charles Stanley mention on a radio talk show the other night that there is a predetermined time that God has already set aside for when He is ready to call us home. For some of us that will be years from now when we are 93 or for others that could be tomorrow when we are only 19. Yet, it's very true. God has put us here on this earth to do His ministry and once we have fulfilled our obligation to Him, He has the right to call us back to Heaven to live for all eternity with Him. 


As a servant of the Lord, I know that it is vital for me to open up my mind and heart to Christ, so that I can awaken myself and listen to His full potential for me. For I don't know when He will call me home, but I do know that I need to use the time I have been given to serve Him through this Ministry and my season of singleness. I will admit there are times, even this week, when I have wondered if he was right in trusting me with this task. But at the same time, I am only hurting myself and others when I underestimate myself and minimize my talents in accomplishing tasks that I am fully capable of carrying out through Christ's Will. Therefore, I need to realize that worrying and doubting are not going to help me; instead I need to consciously lay down my doubts, fears, and worries, on His altar... while opening up my mind and heart to all that He has in store for me, His love, and everlasting support. By giving it all to Him, Christ fills me with confidence that I can do all things through Him, as well as begin to trust myself. 


For no matter how long our life is or if we have days, weeks, months, or years left to live. It is important, as young woman set-apart in Christ that we live it for Him. Even though we do not have that "special someone" on earth to share our dreams and desires with, we do have Him and our brothers and sisters in Christ who will love and support us along the way. Thus this is why I am truly grateful to be who I am in and in this season of singleness Christ has given me. It has truly allowed me to become awaken to a new life and Ministry that is leading me to serve Him and others through His name. One can truly accomplish a lot through the powers of Christ within them. A woman's decision to live a set-apart life from others and in Christ, highlights their decision to live a life no longer of their own, but of Christ's. Being called my Jesus to serve Him is one of the highest and noblest gifts I truly feel any woman or man could yearn to receive. For John's Gospel says, "but I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father. Rise, let us be on our way" --- John 14:31.


It is through Him that I strive to not live my life just going through the motions, but to use my time and energy to give Christ everything in the time that He has given me to serve Him on this earth. I do my best to live my life without regrets, but to Live like He lived for me and use the opportunities He has given me to live a life through Him, thanking Him for all the moments He gives me (good and bad), hoping that when I am called home to Heaven, I have lived a life worthy of the love Jesus gave me when He died on the cross. 


Dear Lord, 


Thank you for the life you  have given me. Help me to keep my eyes on you and to be obedient to your will. I pray that you will show me how to better serve you through this Ministry and that you will continue to support me each step of the way. You have called me to begin this Ministry to help other young woman learn to be set apart from others, and live a life through you. Help me to share your word and serve you in a way that brings you honor and glory. For you are holy and wonderful, I love and praise your most wonderful name! Amen. 

Love, Heather

The Perfect Life

No, this isn't a Hollywood movie or the makings of a Nickolas Sparks book, but the essence of it is just like it states in the title.... I have the perfect life!


Yes, you heard me... I said my life is PERFECT! If you were to look up the definition of perfect you would find something similar to this:

per·fect

   [adj., n. pur-fikt; v. per-fekt]

adjective

1.

conforming absolutely to the description or definition of anideal type: a perfect sphere; a perfect gentleman.

2.

excellent or complete beyond practical or theoreticalimprovement: There is no perfect legal code. The proportions ofthis temple are almost perfect.

3.

exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certainpurpose: a perfect actor to play Mr. Micawber; a perfect saw for cutting out keyholes. 


When I think of the PERFECT life I don't think of Hollywood's version of boy meets girl, boy and girl fall and love, boy and girl get married, boy carries girl off into the sunset. No instead, I give the claim that my life is truly perfect because of someone better.... someone who is willing to give it all up for me, even die for me. And because I have chosen to have him in my life, he has risen in from battle like a knight in shining armor ready to sweep me off my feet. He has truly made my life perfect... He is Jesus Christ.


With Him I have realized that all things are possible, even the inevitable. I promise you, that just because I have the perfect life, does not mean everything is always perfect. Yes, I am very blessed to have a loving and supporting family and group of friends who are willing to help bring me a new bed or store my "priceless possessions" until I'm ready to go through them. But at the same time, my family and I still have our moments. I still get annoyed with my parents from time to time, or frustrated with my mom for her requests to come home and go through boxes (the same ones I swear I've already gone through six months before). And yes, I am human, I do make mistakes, but when I fall down, I am blessed to be able to lean on Him to help me pick myself right back up. In addition, I too am guilty for wanting to hurry things along, do things my own way and in my time, and doubt myself- and even sometimes him. However, it is through these moments and these times when I come to realize that I need too lean on Him more, and allow Him to support me and trust in His desires, while laying down my selfish attitude and behaviors at His feet. 


Having the Perfect Life, means trusting fully in Him and relying in Christ to take care of all my needs and desires. Which means, not worry about tomorrow, how much money is owed on the credit card bill, or what grade level I will be teaching next year. Or having to endure the loss of a loved one or friend far beyond their time. Or wondering why some people always seem to be blessed with better opportunities than you. Yes, I am single, and yes sometimes I wish I had someone special, on earth, to share this Ministry with... but in the end, nothing can beat living my life through Christ, with Him loving me, guiding me, willing to do anything for me. My decision a month ago to fully change the direction of my life to live for Him instead of for me, has been one of the best decisions I have made. He was willing to lay His life down for me, to pursue me, and live for me. Who could ask for a better life's story and love story than this. Isn't that what the perfect life is. Living and serving for Him and the needs of His children is one of the greatest gifts and experiences I could ask for. I do not know how far this blog will go or if it will make a difference, but being able to make the difference to one person is a far greater gift than any amount of money could bring. 


I think Tuesday's devotion says it best: "As divine order takes hold in my mind, disturbing thoughts are stilled, and their disruptive influence in my life and environment ceases. Peace permeates my heart, understanding fills my thoughts, and harmony infuses my relationships"


There is nothing more I need or want. He provides me with food, shelter, and clothing. Though Christ I can do anything, but I must be will to continually lay it all down to Him and trust in His will for my life. I will also be the first to admit that having, and holding onto, the perfect life does require continued patience and perseverance in faith. My life came with the price... the price of Christ's death on the cross..Which is why I know it is important that I strive to work with Him to build our relationship, taking quiet time each day to spend with Him and listen to Him. 


For as Psalm 16:11 states: "You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore."


Building up any relationship takes time and work. But with Him, in my life, everything is wonderful and perfect!

Dealing with Snakes

Okay, so I'll be honest this wasn't what I was planning on writing about today, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how big of an issue this can become if we don't do something to combat it. 

The snakes I am talking about are not the real snakes you find slithering in and out of the garden, but actually those negative thoughts you find creeping slowing from the back of you mind, trying to convince your mind, heart, and soul that what you are doing really isn't for the better good of yourself or others. 

Author Elisabeth Elliot exclaims, "I'm afraid the snake has been talking to [many of us]. He's been sneaking up and whispering, 'God is stingy. He dangles that beautiful fruit called marriage before your eyes and won't let you have it. He refuses you the only thing you need for deep personal growth, the one thing in all the world that would solve all your problems and make you really happy.'"


Being single is a wonderful gift. God has designated this part of my life, and yours to be used for something great, something of His power! Just because I am single does not mean I have to put my life on hold or stop what I want to do because I don't have a spouse to do it with me. Instead, this season of singleness allows me to take on new responsibilities and explore new gifts without having to compromise time with a spouse and family. Thus, the time and energy I could spend trying to find Mr. Right, is actually being used to help serve God and others. By becoming centered on the needs of others, I am to use the gifts He has given me to serve Him without distractions. Paul clarifies this position in 1st Corinthians. He states: "However, that may be, let each of you lead the life that the Lord has assigned, to which God called you... In whatever condition you were called, brothers and sisters, there remain with God" (7:17, 24). Christ has called all of us to do great things with our lives. When we choose to give into temptation and to let the snakes in our powers of greatness greatly diminishes. 


Thus, what happened to me this morning. As I was waking up and getting ready for the day, a sudden thought entered my mind, a thought that could only come from a snake. I am not proud to admit that I thought of such a thing, but my ability to quickly realize this thought was not from God, but from a greater force trying to tempt me to stop following my decisions to Hand over the Pen and let God have full control of my life. So anyways, to make a long story short I woke up this morning to the thoughts of "It will be  years before you see the benefits of my work", "What if you have to wait two more years until I bring someone special into your life", "What if this became you profession, not teaching", "You could give this up and leave it all behind now, and try to find love on your own without my help". Nevertheless, if you have ever experienced doubts similar to this, you know how detrimental they can be to one's self-esteem. I could of easily given into these thoughts and feelings, especially the idea that writing this blog is worthless and that I could take control of my own life story and even love story. But by giving in to these temptations and negative feelings I would be choosing to go against the Will of one of the greatest author's of all time.... Jesus Christ. Not to mention, I would be choosing to live my life through my own selfish desires and not His. As a single woman, I have chosen to live my life for Christ. Yes, it's true I have been given free will, and yes there have been times I have fallen. But at the same time I have also realized the greatness of His power and my decision to live out my life according to Him... no matter where that take me or what I end up doing. One of my faults is that I do like to plan ahead and have a familiar idea about what will happen. I would be lying if I wasn't a little apprehensive, at times, about trusting in God's will and where He will take me in this decision to give my All to Him. Yet, at the same time I know he will never give me more than I can handle and the blessings and rewards for serving Him in this Ministry He has given me, will be far more rewarding than anything I could ever accomplish on my own. 


For Paul writes, "I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord" (I Corinthians 7:32-35).

Therefore, as I mentioned earlier, the realization that these snakelike thoughts were not of my own will or His, I quickly found myself laying these doubts and feelings on God's alter praying that He would rid me from these temptations and deliver me from evil. God does not call us to live our life around our own desires and material things. Instead, He wants us to build our lives around the pursuit of His kingdom, pouring out our heart and sacrifices from Him. For no matter where we are or what snakelike thoughts enter our minds, we are never alone. 


The journey I have chosen is not an easy one. And while I wish I knew where the future would lead me or when I would meet Him, the excitement and anticipation makes it worth the wait. And as I wait, I am able to spend my days, weeks, months, and yes years if He desires being freer than I would if I was married, to give me life to those who are in need of Christ's love. My morning devotion stated "You have entered now upon a mountain climb. Steep steps lead upward, but your power to help others will be truly marvelous" (How great and power a statement to read after having just dealt with Satan's temptations). By praying to God and giving into His word and actions allows and leads me even, to Loving and Trusting in him more and more. For when we do not allow unkind thoughts to dwell in our hearts, God is able to act freely upon our lives and others through his Spirit... with nothing there to hinder all of His wondrous possibilities.

Caught Up in the Moment...

Tonight I had dinner with a really good friend. It was great to see him and catch up after a few months. While we were able to pick up from where our conversation last left off, it was also evident that a lot of things had happened to both of us over that time. After all... Life does go on. 

All of the above suddenly got me thinking that it is so easy for us, as humans to become absorbed with the daily motions of life that we forget for who and why we were placed on this earth. For Him! The past few days I have been going non-stop from one place to another: helping out with VBS, watching my wonderful "siblings", and attending a two day workshop for educators... the list just goes on and on. Over these last few days, It never seemed liked I had a lot of time to sit down and reflect upon Scripture or complete my daily Bible study devotion as I had become accustomed too. Instead, these things have seemed to sort of take a back seat, unintentionally, while I go on about the day's business. For instance, I haven't been able to enjoy my morning cup of coffee with the Lord, while pouring over the Bible or saying my daily prayers. But this also made me realize how important it is that no matter how busy things get in our life that we are able to set aside a designated time of the day to make Him our #1 priority. Sometimes that requires making sacrifices here or there. Like giving up that 30 minute TV show, waking up early, or in my case staying up later. Christ is always there for us, by our side, each moment of the day. Some moments allow us to feel Him better than others, but He is always there with us, waiting on us. 

This thought just goes on to show me how wonderful He really is to us. He longs to desire us and have an intimate relationship with us. Therefore, if we long to have the same feelings for Him why wouldn't we want to give up that TV show or 30 minutes of extra sleep to join Him for an early morning coffee date or an after dinner desert. After all, wouldn't we be willing to give up that time if for someone we were wishing and desiring to get to know more? Why not go ahead and do it for Him, to please Him? 

Ecclesastes 2:26 states "For the one who pleases him God gives wisdom and knolwedge and joy; but to the sinner he gives the work of gathering and heaping, only to give to one who pleases God". 

Also, it is important for us to realize that when we fall into the habit of becoming consumed by the daily motions of our life, we also take the risk of seeking fulfillment and desires from earthly things instead of spiritual. In other words, we become so consumed by having the newest and latest fashion trends or working overtime in the office just so we can make a few more dollars to spend on a new pair of shoes, etc. 
When I made my decision to become a woman set-apart (meaning I have decided to allow my Heavenly father to mold me in a way that is pure and loving to Him) I had to alter my perspective on what truly was important to me in my life. In a way I had to clean out the "garbage" to make way for building my intimate relationship with the Lord. For "it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" -Galatians 2:20. And yes, while it is normal to desire for nice things, like for instance I hope to one day have an office with built in bookcases or a nicer car, I do not live my life attempting to control these outcomes to happen. Which is one of the reasons why I suddenly find myself deeply cleaning out my house from top to bottom, donating or getting rid of those items or things that I know longer need, but can share with those who are less fortunate. And no I have not given away every piece of item or furniture I've owned, but at the same time who needs 3 red shirts or an extra lamp that works fine that has been collecting dust in the closet for the past year.

Choosing to turn everything over to Christ has allowed me to gain more time to focus on Him and our relationship than the earthly items I cannot take with me when I'm gone. It is important for others who desire to have that intimate relationship with him to realize , as well, that materiel goods are not the only "trash" that can build up in our lives and hinder our intimacy with Christ. Instead, that "trash" can be past regrets, old lies, making poor decisions, or even holding a feud with someone. There are times when we realize the trash is there and other times when we don't. Therefore, I strongly encourage you, if you are reading this, to pray to God to help you clean out the trash that has been stored up inside your heart for so long. Surrender it all to Him. We all know the past does like to come back to haunt us, if we let it, so instead of burying those thoughts and feelings deeper inside of us, giving them to God is the best thing one could do. As I've mentioned before, I do not know why I am being called to write this or if I'm even worthy as a result of my past experiences to share with you my journey, my story, to developing an intimate relationship with Christ. But what I do know is that no matter what past or present experiences you are currently undergoing, Christ is such a loving and forgiving Lord that He is willing to take all these negative things away... if we only let Him. Thus, giving Him full and ultimate control over our hearts and lives!

I will leave you with this, sometimes giving Him our heart will leave us with more mixed emotions than we may have realized. And it will be painful to come to terms with some of the decisions made. It was, and still is for me at times. But choosing to allow nothing to stand in my way with developing an intimate relationship with Christ, means more to me than anything I could ever imagine. Growing up, my mom used to always tell me to say the words "Jesus, I Trust in You" when faced with a situation or feelings I was unsure of or didn't like; so what better gift to trust Him with than your Heart! For in conclusion, we choose to get caught up in the moment of living for Him or we could choose to live for something that will only bring about momentary pleasure. The choice is yours.... what do you want to get caught up in?

Season of Singleness

I love the fact that God has given me this season of singleness to get to know Him more and cherish all the wonderful gifts He wants to share with me. This past week I was able to share my time and talents and join my church in a week of Vacation Bible School (VBS). Spending the week focused on sharing stories and singing songs with kids of all ages was such a blessing. 


As young woman we often like to attempt to take control of different situations, especially when a nice-looking, young man walks into the room. For instance, trying to entice him in an engaging conversation, putting on lip gloss before going to an event he would be at, inviting him to a dinner party, etc... Focusing so much time and attention on trying to attract a potential takes away from getting to know Christ better. Personally, for me, by Handing Over the Pen to  Christ, especially when it comes to finding a husband, allows me to focus on growing in areas that will please Him and focus on a life serving others. I could sit around at home, on the couch, watching TV, and wallow in my own self pity, while putting my life on hold until Mr. Right shows up; or I can live my life building and intimate and everlasting relationship with Christ, serving Him and trusting in his Love and Mercy.

I think one of the common misconceptions people think about when they say one giving my life and relationships to Christ is that I have cut myself off from others, especially those of the opposite sex.  This is not the case. God has brought many Godly men into my life over the past few years. Through these relationships I have learned to give them back to God and entrust them to Him. If it is His desire for us to move beyond the level of friendship than it would. Sometimes, as woman, we get so caught up in letting our desires take over our heart and body when it comes to a wishing for a friendship to become more, that we begin to daydream and almost idolize ourselves with the other person. And while, that is a natural temptation of our heart, it does not need to enslave us. I will admit that there are times when I have caught myself doing this on many occasions, but I have learned that when I do find this happening that instead of succumbing to these emotions I give them back up to God. God knows the deepest desires of our hearts and He will satisfy our needs, but in His time not ours. Having these feelings are not bad, but letting the feelings overcome me to the point of obsession is. Therefore, I have learned to say a pray for that particular person and his future, even his future spouse or a loved one who is need the Lord's guidance. Surrendering my emotions and my feelings to Christ, sometimes at multiple times, has helped me to continue to trust in Him. Through these actions and practices I have learned to allow Christ to take hold of my feelings and thoughts, rather than them taking hold of me.

Currently, I am reading a book by Leslie Ludy called Sacred Singleness. In one of the chapters in the book she mentions that "Christ-built men are not hoping and praying for an aggressive woman who flirts and flaunts, but for a truly set apart woman who jealously guards her feminine mystique" (Ludy, p. 82, 2009). If it is God's will He has already chosen a wonderful, godly man for me. He has already scripted the perfect love story for us, and He has helped both of us build up an intimate relationship with Him that will only bring both of us closer together as couple. While for some this idea may seem to far-fetched on the surface, if you take a closer more intimate look it is just a wonderful reminder of His Love and Mercy. 

Each relationship with Christ is different. But I truly know and believe that He fulfills needs and desires, as well as our hearts with love: 


"What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived. what God has prepared for those who love him" -- 1st Corinthians 2:9


Therefore, I strongly encourage you to give your heart and your desires to Christ. Pray to Him, confide in Him, trust in His love and mercy, but more importantly be patient with Him. Allow Him to show you what He wants best for you, not what you want best for yourself and Him. Choosing to love Him more than anything else in this world, including those close to me, has brought me so much happiness and joy. I will not lie, the journey is not always easy, but it has already been more rewarding than I could have ever imagined myself; this is only the beginning. For one day, when the time comes, He will introduce me to another wonderful man, 2nd in comparison to Him, and knowing that I have used this time to build an intimate relationship with My Christ and to be content in all that Christ has given me. For even the perfect relationship has its ups and downs. I believe the song Alive by Natalie Grant perfectly sums up the intimate relationship God has in store for each one of us. 

 Who but You
Could breathe and leave a trail of galaxies
And dream of me?

What kind of love
Is writing my story till the end
With Mercy's Pen?
Only You.

What kind of King
Would choose to wear a crown
that bleeds and scars
To win my heart.

What kind of Love
Tells me I'm the reason He can't stay
Inside the grave

You.
Is it You?
Standing here before my eyes
Every part of my heart cries.

Alive, Alive
Look what Mercy's overcome
Death has lost and Love has won!

Only He can fully satisfy the longing in my heart and soul For it is only through an intimate relationship with Christ, that my heart will forever remain fulfilled and satisfied through Him. How could I not be in love with such a wonderful Prince?!? For it is because of Him I am Alive today!

Life's Crossings

Growing up I always envisioned I would graduate from high school, go to a good college and obtain a degree in teaching (I never wanted a desk job and I loved kids), start my career, get married, and begin raising a family all by the age of 23 or so where I would then become a stay at home mom. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine things to turn out the way they did. 

As a teenager I was never "boy crazy" about the latest and hottest movie stars or singers. It wasn't because my parents sheltered me from the media and music, but I just wasn't interested. In high school I my boyfriend and I meet at the beginning of my Sophomore year. We dated throughout high school and even attending college together. Towards the end of my Freshman year in college, we broke off our relationship because we were both going in separate directions and wanted separate things. In part, I believe some of it came from my difficulties adapting to really being away from home. Losing him was very difficult. We had been together for 5 years and I can definitely say I had envisioned that he would be the man I married. I mean what better story to tell than to say you married your high school sweetheart. 

Not long after we broke up, I begin to become more involved in the Campus Ministry on campus. Through the Ministry I met one of my best, lifelong friend's Claire; as well as become more involved in my faith. It was really hard breaking up with my high school sweetheart after such a long time, I began to turn things over to Christ and offered up my life and even my love life to Him. I figured who would know best but Him. One night in February, while attending a talk the week Holy Grounds talk (we had speakers who would come into our local coffee shop and share various talks about the faith) I was suddenly filled with the Holy Spirit and greatly wanted to attend Adoration afterwards. To make a long story short, that night I ended up asking one of the guys from the Campus Ministry to attend Adoration with me. We drove an hr and half away to a church in Atlanta. Years later the night still remains a fresh memory in my mind. I remember both of us sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament and just prayed my heart out to the Lord. God's love and mercy in that room that night was so strong, you could feel His arms wrapping around each of us as we prayed. Needless to say, about 3 months later we began to date, became engaged 9 months after we started dating, and was married in December 2007... a year and ten months after he proposed. This was the life story I had been waiting for... this was the way things were supposed to work. God brought this man into my life. We would be together forever.... or so I thought.

Funny how we go through life planning everything out only to have it crash in front of us. I never would have thought a year and a half after getting married I would be signing my divorce papers to end the marriage.  I had gotten married at the age of 21 and was divorced by the time I was 23. Through this time, not only had I worked to try to keep our marriage alive and intimate, I was also in the middle of my first year teaching, just beginning my career. I learned a lot through this experiance. That God is in complete control, even when the floor beneath you gives away, and that marriage takes two people to work on it. I knew marriage would be difficult and sacrifices would have to be made. I truly feel like, even though I had married a good Christian man, that we both lost sight of God in our marriage and I really think that hurt us when it came to growing closer as a married couple. 

So with all that being said... why am I here today writing to you about Handing Over the Pen and allowing God to once again take control of my life? To be honest, it's not my will, but His. It has been 3 years since my divorce. Not only have I gone through having to completely uproot my life overnight, but I have had to overcome the thoughts and emotions with becoming another statistic in society. After all 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce these days, or so they say. Does that qualify me for being able to tell you about trusting in God and his grace? I don't know, but what I have learned is that we are blessed to have such a forgiving and loving Lord. 

Psalm 32:1-2 states "Happy are those whose transgressions is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Happy are those to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit" 

Jesus also goes on to talk about forgiveness in Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven"

I have nothing to hide and nothing to prove. God has given me this life so that I may serve Him. Over the last three years I have gone out on a date or two. But for the most part, I accepted my life as God gave me. I have always wanted a family and children. Even though I am not married, there are many children out there who are looking for a loving place to call home. Which is why when the time presents itself I would like to adopt and/or foster children. In addition, just because I am single does not mean I needed to stop living my life. I have been provided many opportunities to continue my education and further my career. From obtaining a Master's degree in Educator to being apart of many wonderful professional development programs. Not to mention, God has allowed me to enjoy my season of singleness and focus entirely on experiencing life through Him. 

But then about 2 months ago, I met a wonderful, godly youth minister from a nearby church. As our friendship grew, I began to pray that God would bring us closer together and that He would become the foundation of our relationship. I really wanted us to remain centered on Christ and His calling for us in our lives, both individually and as friends. Well, Christ certainly had other plans. I found myself being called by Christ to give everything up, including my friendship with this young man and follow Him. The more I studied scripture and prayed over God's calling, the more I longed to know Christ better. After all as he says in Matthew 18:19-20 "And he said to them, 'Follow me, and I will make you fish for people.' Immediately they left their nets and followed him".  He goes on to mention in the story of The Rich Young Man "Jesus said to him, 'If you wish to be perfect, go, sell your possessions, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me'" Matthew 19:21. 

That day, I surrendered my life and my love story to Christ and I have not looked back once. It has been over 2 weeks since that day and each day I find myself more in love with Christ than the day before. Everything I was looking for, everything I was praying about He already had waiting for me. All He needed was me to give my all to Him. In my search for building a God - Centered foundation, I realized that I needed to allow God to take full and ultimate control of my life. Something I never totally did in college, before meeting my husband. I have always wanted that perfect love story. I never knew I would find it waiting for me on the first day of summer, while drinking coffee on my back porch. Christ, my Lover, was waiting for me to join him that day. I have never been so happy before in my life. Happier than I was on my wedding day. For I have truly realized that in order to content with the events of my life (good or bad), I needed to surrender my will and heart to Him. For who knows the desires of my heart better than the one who created me and formed me in my mother's womb. He has great plans for me and I couldn't be happier with His story!

A New Journey... A New Chapter

Today, marks a new beginning and a new chapter in this story. Beginning this journey has not been a simple task. I am not a writer, nor am I an author by any means; yet here I am writing a blog about how God as called me to Hand Over the Pen of my life and entrust it to Him. 

For some the ideas and comments I might make may seem a little to far-fetched and even crazy speaking, but to  a few these ideas and beliefs may be the answers to what you are searching for. I am no expert when it comes to this area in life, I can hardly say I am an expert of it in my own life. However, I do hope that through this blog, somewhere I can share with others about what it truly means to Hand Over the Pen and let God take full and complete control of life's journeys. 

I have always grown up in a Christian household. My mom was raised Catholic and my dad Baptist. Every Sunday I went with my mom and two brothers to Church and Sunday School. In the summertime I would go with my family to attend Vacation Bible School. I learned scripture, received the sacraments of the Catholic Church (ex: Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation, etc...), and truly believed that Jesus Christ was my Lord and Savior. As I entered my high school years, I began to become involved in the Life Teen Youth program of my church. I grew to enjoy spending time with my Christian friends on retreats and during the week. I was living out my faith in Christ, so I was being a good Christian right? As I neared the end of my high school years I began to plan for college and my future. God was right there along side me during this whole time, but I never consulted with Him what He felt was best for me. Still I went to a good college in Middle Georgia, met some good friends, helped build up the Campus Catholics Program within the college community, and fulfilled my dreams of becoming an educator. This was the way life was supposed to be....wasn't it? 

So why should I choose now, many  years later to Hand Over the Pen to Christ. I really do not know. I have always trusted that God knows what is best for me, but to have Him script my life story, even a love story seems a bit unnerving. God has a plan for all of us. For some He reveals that plan sooner than others. We must trust in his never ending love and mercy for us. 


I do not know what makes my story different from all the other stories out there. I know there are many young Christian girls who have, at different times of their lives, decided to turn their lives over to Christ and allow Him to write their life and love stories. God works amazing blessing in our lives through our own actions and the actions of others.  I can't begin to see where He plans to lead me on this journey. I know the journey will not be easy, and I know it will have its ups and downs. But with Christ by my side I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -- Philippians 4:13.