Just Loaves and Fishes

How does Jesus feed you? This past week was definitely a time for reflection for me, as I was confronted with many unexpected issues. Over the weekend I found myself reflecting on the Bible story of the little boy who brought Jesus a small basket of barley bread and a few fish. I know many of us have heard the story of how Jesus turned a few fish and loaves of bread into enough food to feed thousands, with more left over to spare. But have you ever thought of what it meant for the little boy to hand over his possessions to Jesus, not knowing what Christ would do or if anything would become of his meal? Have you ever thought about what thoughts were going through this child's head, as he stood before the Messiah, feeling the pressure of the disciples around him to hand over his food? 

I'll admit, I never gave the little boy in this Gospel story a second thought, until now, but more importantly after hearing the sermon this past weekend. How frightened the little boy might have been when asked to hand over his meal to the disciples and Christ. When you think about it barley bread at this time was seen as bread a poor person would eat, and the fish in the boy's basket were small, nothing fancy. And yet, the boy chose to trust in Jesus, to hand over his basket knowing that everything would be okay. 

 "The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. You open your hand, satisfying the desire of every living thing."

---Psalm 145:15-16

Something to also keep in mind about this Gospel passage, is that at this time of the day, Jesus and the apostles were returning from spreading the Word of God throughout the area. You can imagine how tired Jesus and the apostles were, and as the sun was setting I'm sure dinner was definitely on their mind. And yet, the crowds find them, drawing closer to them. Despite the persistence of the twelve to send the crowds somewhere else to lodge and eat for the night and prepare for the Passover, Jesus, without question, denies the request of the twelve and urges the apostles to find food for the crowd. 

"When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, 'This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves.' Jesus said to them, 'They need not go away; you give them something to eat'."

--- Matthew 14:15-16

 So what does all of this have to do with me 2000+ years later. No matter where are, where we go, or what we do, the hand of the Lord will always be there to feed us. He answers all our needs. The little boy could have chosen not to hand over his basket of bread and fish, but instead he choose to help out even though he didn't quite understand how the Lord would remember him and answer his needs with all these other people around. At the beginning of the summer I was enlightened by God's Will for my life to hand over the few prized possessions I had and give everything I had to follow Him. Even in my relationships with others, where I felt He wanted me to be, I was guided to give it all up and follow Him, knowing in the end it would bring me much closer and much more dependent on the Lord.

I can't begin to put into words how much of a difference time and focus on Him this summer has greatly impacted me. I'll be honest, there were times when I fell, still times I do, and times I've made mistakes, but He was always there by my side to pick me up and guide me towards the will and the direction of my life. It hasn't been an easy journey. Nobody ever said it would be. However, reflecting on this time I find myself more patient than before, not getting as frustrated when things don't go "my" way, and open-minded to seeing how God can use people to change me and me to change others. And yes there were times when I was wondering where in the world I was going, because it really felt like nothing had changed. But now as I look back on it all, as I'm sure the young boy in this Gospel story did, Christ knows what we need, what He is doing, even if we can't see the changes happening overnight. For sometimes, even the smallest thing, can have the biggest impact on our life.  

"All your lessons cannot be learned with difficulty, and this was needed to teach you a lesson... So to attain peace quickly in your surroundings, as well as in your hearts, learn your lesson quickly."

--- God Calling Devotional

We should never lower our standards when it comes to trusting in God and fulfilling His Will for us in our lives. When I handed over the pen to Him to write my life's story, I knew there would be many lessons He would desire for me learn; all of these lessons with the mindset that they would be used to help prepare my heart for His love, Ministry, and purposes, all to give me the future he desires me to have. God called me to be obedient to him "just as Abraham 'believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.' Therefore know that only those who are of faith are sons of Abraham." (Galatians 3:6-7). There will always be those around us who will not be able to believe without seeing. For even in the Gospel story of Jesus feeding the thousands of people, you have the apostles who did not believe how far a few fish and loaves could go in feeding the thousands. And yet, there were exactly 12 baskets of food leftover, almost like doggie bags for each apostle to take home with him that night. John's Gospel account of this event, even goes on to say what the people began to think and do upon seeing the actions of Christ, "So they gathered them up, and from he fragments of the five barley loaves, left by those who had eaten, they filled twelve baskets. When the people saw the sign that he had done, they began to say, 'This is indeed the prophet who is to come into the world'." (John 6:13-14). But before they could respond, Jesus, knowing they were coming for Him, left. It wasn't until the next day when the people found Him again, that He told them what the should be searching for. "Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For it is on him that God the Father has set his seal" (John 6:27). We can choose to live our whole life looking for signs to believe, as Thomas did, but in the end we need to learn that Jesus will also be the hand that feeds us, who answers all our needs; we need to believe in Him and His Will for us in our life without searching for the signs of what is to come. If we are always looking for the signs of what is to come, we will miss out on what He has laid before us in our path. For even in Christ's day there were people who saw Him, saw His signs and still did not believe. 

"It is written in the prophets, 'And they shall all be taught by God.' Everyone who has heard and learned from the Father comes to me. Not that anyone has seen the Father except the one who is from God; he has seen the Father. Very truly, I tell you, whoever believes has eternal life. I am the bread of life."

---John 6:45-48

I had no idea all the plans Christ had in store for me over this past summer, nor do I know the plans He has in store for me for the future. I do know however, that He has taught me many things, and through these lessons He has helped me in so many ways by strengthen in my beliefs to trust in Him and His Will for my life. Who better to hand over the Pen to than Him. The changes did not happen over night, but just like the little boy, I have learned to fully place my trust in Jesus Christ. I can only begin to wonder what He has in store for the next chapter of my life! How far will the loaves and fishes continue to multiply with Him in charge? Who knows, but I cannot wait to see what His future and His Will for me holds!