I am a very independent person, naturally. I've always been told this growing up, and I guess it's because I had to learn how to do things on my own without an older brother or sister to show me the way. Yep! Being the oldest allowed me to cut the grass and blaze the trails of life for my younger brothers along the way. Needless to say being the oldest had its advantages growing up. I got to drive first, I got to ride the roller coasters at Six Flags first, etc., etc.,. Now as much as I love being the oldest there are times I wish I had, had someone to fall back on to ask questions or state my concerns about those "big" issues we all face during our adolescent years. Instead, I just had to jump feet first with it all and roll with it.
Where I live, it is essential one takes good care of their yard every week: mowing, weeding, edging, pruning bushes, and so on. When I first moved in, I had to depend on my new neighbors to help me out because I did not have the necessary tools to complete these jobs. Now that I have been here awhile, I have slowly built up my lawn tools collection :). Having to rely on my neighbors caused me to become dependent on their needs and willingness to help me out. I'll never forget the first time I mowed my grass, I wanted all my neighbors to see I could finally do it myself. And while I greatly had appreciated their help, I didn't need any more. I was on my own. However, I was soon faced with the situation that I could not edge my yard just yet. One day I came home from a friend's house and found that my neighbor, trying to help, had edged part of my driveway without my permission. Well, this sent me into a furry. I got so frustrated I almost went out a bought myself an edger. After awhile, I calmed down, only then I realized that he knew my situation and was just trying to help me out while I was saving money to buy an edger.
So anyways, back to today's event with the lawn mower. I have a good size yard to mow. The front isn't too hard, but the back yard takes some work. Having been neglected for so long, the back yard has a lot of stumps, rocks, and other outdoorsy things that have all become entwined within the grass. I had just about completed the whole yard when I ran over something mysterious (I blame it on a branch that fell out of a tree from a storm earlier in the week) and the lawn mower cut off. In my attempt to restart it, I realized the pull string would not budge (yes I get my exercise from mowing my lawn with a push mower). Upon further examination and discussions with my dad I realized the entire blade underneath was bent and basically my mower and I am out of commission until I get it fixed. Immediately, I began to think of what others would say when the grass grew to high. Because of my independence, I do not like to ask for help if I can do it myself. If I did, how can I prove that I am capable of fixing things? Of accomplishing tasks? It's times like this when I do wish I had someone to help me, who knew my strengths and weakness, and could help take this matter into his own hands (I know girls are complicated enough- I like to be independent, but I don't always like to be in charge). Instead, I am now in the process of having to find a way to fix the mower. I do not have the right tools to accomplish the job, so I know I'll be adding to my toolbox this weekend. Yet, that still does not guarantee I can get the blade off by myself. If only I wasn't so blind and was paying better attention to what I was mowing... I could have prevented this and not be in this situation. Now, its a done deal and I just have to roll with it whether I like it or not.
With all this said and done, I realized, while eating lunch and still reflecting on the mower incident, that when we choose to walk with Christ we still have to trust in him, even when we cannot see where He is leading us. Sometimes, that even means taking us out of the elements we are comfortable with. For me it means I must rely on someone else helping me to fix my mower. We are at our weakest points when we are faced with a new surrounding or issue, and yet, these are the moments that we are able to grow the most in if we let Him. It is through His plans and His timing for us that He reveals and helps us accept and overcome our fears with being out of our elements.
Paul even mentions this in his letter to the Colossians:
"I want their hearts to be encouraged and united in love, so that they may have all the riches of assured understanding and have the knowledge of God's mystery, that is,
Christ himself."
---Colossians 2:3
In other words, Paul is stating that God is the fullness of all security and mystery we need and that He will meet our emotional and mental needs if we trust in Him. If we fail to trust in Him and rely on Him, how can we truly experience the glory He has in store for us. No one said this was going to be easy. Even Christ said we'd have to pick up our Cross and follow Him, even if that means stepping out into the unknown and just rolling with the punches. Because when we are out of our element... fully trusting in Him... then the blinders come off and we are able to fully see is Glory. Until then, He can speak and preform miracles in front of us, but if we never see His glory we will always be blind to His glory and deaf to what He wants to tell us.
Even if I do not have someone to physically to turn too at this moment, I know I have many good friends and family who will help me, if I allow them. All I have to do is ask. Just like all I have to do with Him to open my eyes and my heart and ask for His help and guidance, even when things do not seem like they are going my way. And through it all Christ will be with me, by my side, shining the light along the way. Who better to be there for me while I roll with the punches of life and the well the life of my lawn mower :). No one says God doesn't work in mysterious ways. I guess He wanted to remind me of who truly was in charge today!
"For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, and I rejoice to see your morale and the firmness of your faith in Christ"
--- Colossians 2.5
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